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i wish noah had swatted the two mosquitoes from his ark

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I never fucking said that

God, Buddha, Gandhi, The Dali Llama, Marilyn Monroe, Audrey Hepburn, Oscar Wilde, Sylvia Plath and everyone else probably (via thebatty)

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Venice Beach Canals - {by Jonathan Alcorn} | {WEBSITE}


This is the best episode ever

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  • Me: This older generation pisses me off so much
  • Therapist: Why?
  • Me: Because when I was growing up, we were forcefed the idea that if we didn't want to be 'flipping burgers at McDonalds,' then we'd better go to college.
  • Therapist: And?
  • Me: And now we've all gone to college, have degrees, can't get a damn job, and the same people that told us to go to college call us entitled assholes because we refuse to flip burgers
  • Therapist: Touche

I’m not sure why people dislike receiving drunk texts. you’re the only person they’re thinking of when their brain can’t function properly

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